Don't you love us anymore?

Statistics was the monster that turned our house upside down. Because I tested out of the prerequisite for the class I wasn't savvy with the sophisticated calculator required for Stats, and I spent half of my daily three hours of study frustrated at that high-tech tool. Suffering through the homework, I would sit on the couch with my books and papers all spread out---making it "impossible" for me to move from that position. Every few seconds I would emit a sigh or a groan, which I was not aware of until my husband sympathetically commented about it. Frequently my spouse or a child would walk by unacknowledged, but I was engrossed in my miserable quest and determined to not let it beat me.

After a couple weeks of this scenario came the bomb: "We feel you love Statistics more than you love us." Everyone in the family concurred. I was ambushed. I felt I couldn't win with Statistics, and I certainly wasn't winning at home. So, I had to implement a new battle plan. I had to stop studying so much or lose my family. The second choice wasn't an option. So, I stopped studying so much. Ironically, I earned an A- in the class, but I adopted a far more winning attitude.

First, I care more about what I am learning than the grade I am earning. If I am learning well, the grades will follow. I seldom do extra credit because that takes more time from the family. It's fine to get an A- instead of a high A. What difference will it make whether I have super high grades? If I am knowledgeable it will show.

What does this have to do with enjoying your teenagers? It shows them that if I'm willing to put down the books for them, they must be really important to me. Countless times I have forsaken my passion for learning to show my passion for my loved ones---and they feel it. They know it is a big sacrifice for me, but somehow it all works out.

Whatever might be taking you away from your family needs to be re-evaluated. Consider the big picture. In the long run what will matter most? Choices are easy when we have clear priorities.

Have a life, but make sure your family is the biggest part of it.