Breathe their air

Christian graduated from high school and a month later was in Marine Corps boot camp. He was allowed to write us each week, but for 13 weeks it was a heck of a way to cut the apron strings. It wasn't just being apart that was troublesome. It was knowing he was being mistreated on purpose, with his own permission. He was very well prepared for boot camp, and may have been the top recruit---except that he got sick. He was sick for several weeks during training, but still mushed through---he didn't want anything to do with "medical." For the first month of his absence I couldn't eat; I couldn't sleep. It was awful.

After he returned home I would find ways to nonchalantly be in his space. He's a rather private person, and were I to go up to his chamber (bedroom) it might throw off his groove. But whenever he came to a living area I would magically appear. While munching his cereal he would ask what I was doing. "Just breathing your air," was my reply. I would find all different ways to be in his space without going to his space. It filled my soul.

He left several times for more training, returned on furloughs, and it was a year and a half of him being gone, and returning for short stints. Finally he found himself in Afghanistan for several months. I feel I was spiritually carried through that time. He returned in one piece, but I could tell he was shell-shocked. When I saw him for the first time since the previous year, I hugged him and wept for several minutes, not realizing the toll the experience had had on both of us.

When he came home we wrapped our arms and hearts around him and helped him decompress. Then he continued his life plan, which included service as a missionary. Now he is in Australia, serving as a volunteer missionary for our church. He is very far away, and again, all I get is a weekly letter.

Enjoy your children while they are home. Breathe their air. Enjoy the good times and the challenges. When they grow up their problems get bigger---they marry, have kids and your problems (and joys) expand right along with theirs. Find ways to enjoy your teenagers. They are nearly adults, but just shy enough of adulthood to think they know something. Let them think they know something. They'll need that ambition to get out on their own.

Just love them. Breathe their air.